Twelve Noon

It's been a while since I last posted, hasn't it? Well, in my defense, between schoolwork, work-work, trying to keep up a little bit of a social life and still get enough sleep to keep me from passing out in class, I've been kinda swamped. The idea was to write a bunch of blog entries over the summer and then have them to post whenever I needed one. As you may have guessed...that failed. :P

Look at this! I didn't even post for my birthday (for those who don't know, I finally entered the grown-up numbers. Eek!) That's sad, let me tell you.

Well, this isn't as entertaining as my last post (how could I top that?) but you may find it interesting or enlightening. I came to this college very insecure and bashful, extremely self-conscious and un-outgoing. Over this last summer--well, really over the last two semesters and this summer, but for the sake of this narrative (which I wrote for a class and have condensed here) I smooshed everything into one summer--I learned to shake that a little.

Picture the scene, if you will:

First day of summer.

Twelve noon.

First meal at the caf alone.

I stand at the soda fountain, plate in one hand and a glass of root beer in the other, staring out at the dining area in bemusement. A few familiar faces catch my eye, but there’s a galaxy of difference between familiar and friendly. Not wanting to stand there any longer, looking like a new-caught freshman, I scurry to a four-top in the back of the cafeteria and scarf down my salad and pizza. Happily, I’ve thought to stick a paperback biography of J.R.R. Tolkien in my purse, and I can hide behind its cover.

Still, human company would be better.

~~~

Second day of summer.

Twelve noon.

I don’t even have the friendly weight of a book in my purse to keep me company today. Slowly, I fill my glass – root beer again; I’m a creature of habit – and look out over the cafeteria, searching the faces for someone – anyone – who won’t mind my invading their table.

Julienne. An unintended sigh of relief escapes me, and I hurry to sit down at the round table.

“Hey guys. Mind if I join you? Thanks.” I don’t even wait for an answer before sitting down. My hands are shaking slightly as I say a quick prayer and start in on my turkey sandwich.

I say little during the meal, since Julienne is the only person I know at the table. But the group is nice enough, and their playful banter makes me laugh. Maybe they’ll be here again tomorrow.

~~

Third day of summer.

Twelve noon.

Julienne is nowhere to be seen, but today I am confident. Maybe it’s yesterday’s relative success. Maybe it’s just a realization that if I keep hiding, this summer is going to be an awfully lonely one.

Whatever it is, I fill my glass with root beer in confidence. No standing around like a turkey in the scope of my brother’s rifle today. With determination, I stride up to a half-full table and address a girl I know by face but not by name. (Tessa, maybe. Or perhaps Tiffany?)

“Is this seat free?”

The conversation breaks. Five pairs of semi-unknown eyes look up at me.

“Um…sure,” Tessa-Tiffany says with a sort of half-smile. “It’s all yours.”

Triumphant, I settle into the chair.

“You’re…LoriAnn, right?” Tessa asks. I’m sure it’s Tessa.

“Yep.” I take a nonchalant sip of my root beer and savor the sweet, cool fizziness. No ice, just the way I like it. “And you’re Tessa?”

“Tiffany.” She smiles, and goes back to her cheesecake. She turns to the guy sitting next to her and picks up the conversation I interrupted with my arrival. “...So I told her that I couldn’t care less which way she stacked the stupid boxes…”

I sigh and take a bite of salad, trying to keep from squelching the brief flare of confidence in my chest.

Across the table, the girl who had made her friend laugh the moment before is looking at me. I see her read the words on my tee-shirt. My Villain Can Beat Up Your Villain. It’s a writer thing.

She smiles and rolls her eyes.

The flare flickers, and goes out.

~~

Days four, five, six, seven, eight and nine pass much the same way as day one.

Twelve noon:

Me, root beer in one hand and whatever sorry excuse for food the caf was serving that particular day in the other, hurrying to my lonesome table in the back. Alone, save for my faithful book.

I've had enough of this.

~~

Day ten.

You know the time.

I deliberately failed to bring a book with me for backup today. There will be no hiding in the back today, no cowed and regretful me fleeing a table of malcontents. Today, I am ready to do business with the world.

I carry my plate – and my root beer, of course – to a table occupied by complete strangers.

“Hey,” I say. “Can I sit here?”

“Uh—yeah,” one guy answers. They all look at me in a mixed stare of confusion and something that’s not quite welcoming even if it isn’t outright hostile.

I sit. “I’m LoriAnn,” I announce. “Nice to meetcha.”

The kid next to me nods. “You work at the library, don’t you?”

“Yup,” I reply, starting on my mashed potatoes. “Where do you work?”

“Keeter.” He grimaces. “Hot line.”

“Ooh,” I grin, sipping my root beer. “Know how that feels. I spent the last year at Keeter.”

“Hot line?”

“No – last summer, I worked in the bakery. Then I spent two semesters on pantry line.”

“Did you work with Angie?”

“I love Angie!” I exclaim. “But I usually worked with David.”

A girl across the table groans. “Mr. Weatherman?” she asks. She deepens her voice in an imitation of the supervisor’s. “ ‘Hey guys, I’m gonna go check the weather.’ Like we don’t know he’s going to smoke.”

I roll my eyes. “How about ‘Andele, andele!’ ”

A chorus of groans greets my words. Misery loves company, after all.

We spend the rest of the meal comparing stories of our workstation triumphs and trials – far more of the latter, actually, since the trials are usually funnier than the triumphs. By the time I’ve finished, I know the names and majors of everyone at the table and have an invitation to watch Seven Brides for Seven Brothers in Memorial dorm next weekend.

After the meal, I clear my place with that flare of triumph and new sociability burning bright in my heart. I can do this after all. From now on, no more books, no more hiding – heck, maybe I’ll even get a Sprite one of these days.

~~

So...I learned a lot this summer. Over the following ten weeks, I discovered a positively extroverted quality I hadn’t even known I possessed. At the start of the summer program, I could have counted my on-campus friends on one hand – easily. By the end of the term, I had lost track of how many new people I knew, who would call out my name as I passed and save me a seat at their table. It's funny, but I’ve learned that a friendly face, a bit of common ground, and a witty sense of humor can take one a long, long way when it comes to meeting new people. Change can be good – it’s been good for me.

I decided to stick with the root beer though.